Welcome to the Emotional Connectivity Podcast of Talent Management Academy!
In his last podcast Rolf told you how to deal with people that make you angry and how it can help to try something new. How were you doing? You may have expected a great deal of yourself… of the result after your try. Then finally you were disappointed and might have thought by yourself “ok, I would have expected more”… Good point and here we are with our present topic “expectation is waiting for disappointment”.
This is only one example how we set up traps for ourselves. We expect that we can perfectly manage something that we never did before. Singles searching for a happy relationship are disappointed because not only in COVID times partners of their dreams are pretty different from what photos presented on dating platforms may promise. Holidays are booked, the dream weeks of the year making everything happen as adventure, freedom, sports, spending time together, tasty food… For families stressing discussions will be bound to happen, if each family member wants to live holidays according to the individual expectations. Potential for bad mood most certainly included, isn’t it?!
Why do we bother with all this? It’s certain that if there are many expectations, there will be also pretty much room for disappointment. How can you manage this? As usual in the very beginning there is self-observation. Ask yourself in how far your expectation is appropriate. If the answer is no, then adapt it as necessary. As a beginner with juggling it is important to practice, so that you can keep all the balls in the air. Thus don’t be too strict with yourself!
In terms of relationships it is important to talk. We all know that you can only be helped if you talk because reading other’s people’s mind is difficult. Be mindful with your words and take responsibility for your own emotions. It is quite normal that expectations differ between partners in a relationship or family. However it is crucial how you name it. There are helpful phrases as for example “I’d make a wish…” or “I would be glad…” because this is how you express your wishes and intentions through the first person thus avoiding judgments when discussions do not run that smoothly.
Even in case of a disappointment that you experienced you can also use it as an opportunity for self-reflection. You can make yourself aware what is important to you and where exactly you may not be ready to compromise. It’s important that you then draw the required conclusions and learn from it.
Summarizing let’s say that it is worth to make yourself aware of your expectations and to reduce them because you can increase your contentment in that way which represents an important step for your personal development. Just wait and see – sometimes you will even be rewarded by a surprising gift…
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